Power-roo
October 19th 2006 13:13
A bit off topic today, but after reading my roommate’s notes on Jean Baudrillard, and peering into the fridge at work, it is clear that there is an alarming trend in hydration beverages: hyper-real names and flavours. Like all runners, I am concerned about hydration, and like to drink my mom’s Gatorade when home during the holidays. An example of this descent into hyper-reality: Socceroos flavoured Powerade. The Powerade empire was built on a solid foundation of classic drink flavours such as lime, blueberry and cherry. This spawned more exciting and confusing flavours like Jagged Ice, Arctic Shatter and Green Squall. As a proud Canadian, I have seen my fair share of ice. I promise you jagged ice does not taste good, and arctic chatter sounds more like an ailment caused by over exposure to cold rather than a re-hydration drink. A new low has befallen Powerade drinkers: Socceroos Powerade, in the delicious flavour called Socceroos Strike. Designed to hydrate the Australian Soccer team to a world cup victory (ok, designed to milk the Socceroos world cup appearance), this drink promises not only to re-hydrate, but to exhilarate.
A few weeks ago at Subway, I pilfered a bottle of Socceroo Strike, imagining a tasty mix of soccer balls and shin pads. What exactly does Socceroo strike taste like? Well, like sweaty soccer balls, so the title isn’t that off base. The men at track said it tastes like *ahem * bums, whereas my fellow sandwich artists described it as “bin juice” and “good because it is free.” Did any of us feel re-hydrated after their Socceroo Strike experience? I am not sure, partially because no one could consume an entire bottle, and partially because any re-hydrating effect would occur because of water consumed after ingesting Socceroo Strike in order to chase away the sweaty after taste. As such, whether or not this drink as a re-hydrating beverage, or as replacement for ipecac.
Little wonder then, that the Socceroos did not bring the title home to Australia.
A few weeks ago at Subway, I pilfered a bottle of Socceroo Strike, imagining a tasty mix of soccer balls and shin pads. What exactly does Socceroo strike taste like? Well, like sweaty soccer balls, so the title isn’t that off base. The men at track said it tastes like *ahem * bums, whereas my fellow sandwich artists described it as “bin juice” and “good because it is free.” Did any of us feel re-hydrated after their Socceroo Strike experience? I am not sure, partially because no one could consume an entire bottle, and partially because any re-hydrating effect would occur because of water consumed after ingesting Socceroo Strike in order to chase away the sweaty after taste. As such, whether or not this drink as a re-hydrating beverage, or as replacement for ipecac.
Little wonder then, that the Socceroos did not bring the title home to Australia.
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