Pac Man wins again
November 15th 2006 12:12
In this second instalment of athlete street fight, two unlikely rivals meet up. That is the whole point of this exercise (yes, there is a point), to pair opponents who would not normally meet. Today we find Paula Radcliffe, women’s world record holder in the marathon, and multiple world cross country champion, versus Pac Man, arguably the most recognisable video game hero of all time. Both exhibit super human abilities, Radcliffe’s unbelievable pain threshold, and ability to log 140 mile weeks, Pac Man to devour everything in his path, edible or not, while maintaining a relationship with Mrs. Pac Mac and escaping blob-like ghosts. (Whether or not Pac Man is human, or even exists, is an existential question that falls outside the theme of running, and as such will not be addressed at this time.)
Pac Man, although not as fast as Radcliffe, nor as dextrous, has an advantage, that is, he can Pac. He merely has to open his mouth and move in a forward direction, and everything in his path is in peril. Radcliffe adopts the strategy of kicking Pac Man, then running away, kicking and running, with the hopes of eventually beating her opponent to a pulp. After a series of effective kicks and escapes, Pac Man decides that he needs to look the other way, that is, keep his front to Radcliffe, so that he can see her approach. As Paula comes barrelling towards her spherical rival, he simply opens his mouth, and Radcliffe’s best asset, her superior speed and athletic ability, become her downfall, and she plunges into Pac Man’s gaping jaws. Before she knows what has happened, she has been Packed. Pac Man’s mouth closes around the svelte athlete and, in one gulp she vanishes. Amazing that such a simple tactic would be so effective, but that is why Pac Man is world famous. The man in yellow can bask in his glory, and feel reassured that no other marathoners will ever try to take him on in a street fight.
Pac Man, although not as fast as Radcliffe, nor as dextrous, has an advantage, that is, he can Pac. He merely has to open his mouth and move in a forward direction, and everything in his path is in peril. Radcliffe adopts the strategy of kicking Pac Man, then running away, kicking and running, with the hopes of eventually beating her opponent to a pulp. After a series of effective kicks and escapes, Pac Man decides that he needs to look the other way, that is, keep his front to Radcliffe, so that he can see her approach. As Paula comes barrelling towards her spherical rival, he simply opens his mouth, and Radcliffe’s best asset, her superior speed and athletic ability, become her downfall, and she plunges into Pac Man’s gaping jaws. Before she knows what has happened, she has been Packed. Pac Man’s mouth closes around the svelte athlete and, in one gulp she vanishes. Amazing that such a simple tactic would be so effective, but that is why Pac Man is world famous. The man in yellow can bask in his glory, and feel reassured that no other marathoners will ever try to take him on in a street fight.
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